I am Isaac. And here I was at 1am in the morning looking up at the sky not knowing what to do next. I was absolutely drenched in it, my combat trousers saturated in it and I was standing in a pool of it. I knew exactly what it was; I just didn’t want to believe it.
I had no idea what to do, looking to the sky like it was going to tell me, I rolled my eyes back down to the ground to see my best friend laying still, covered in this red substance with multiple holes in his body.
I was screaming for help, throat in absolute pain, thoughts rushing, School, mum, Charlie’s mum. What was she going to say, her only son died when we was out together, will she hate me? Blame me even?
I wasn’t in a good place, I only then thought to call an ambulance, but I couldn’t, I had given my phone to the boys who had confronted me and Charlie, they had it now. Charlie still had his phone in his pocket, holding back my tears I reached into Charlie’s red stained bomber jacket and pulled out his blackberry. Emergency call, 999 “Ambulance please” trembling I told the operator of the events, I was insulted at how calm she was. “Ok” she responded “We will dispatch a police car as well, this is a serious matter young man” I didn’t want police to come. I waited for what felt like hours for the Ambulance to get to us, I had been with Charlie the whole time, sitting next to his body in this cool pool of thick red liquid. Tears were flowing down my face, I saw the blue lights coming towards me in the distance and felt a sense of security but also closure to what has happened. I knew he was gone, I knew it.
The ambulance pulled up beside us, well me, Charlie wasn’t here anymore, his body was, but to me it wasn’t him, just a shell that represented my best friend. One first aid worker immediately attended to Charlie, I didn’t watch what was going on, I saw a lot of equipment being pulled out of the van and turned away. The second first aid worker came to me, I didn’t look at her. She knelt down besides me and asked what had happened “he didn’t give them his phone” are the only words I could bring myself to say, I didn’t want to repeat the events in my head again.
I was given a blanket, I wasn’t cold. “Would you like to travel with your friend to the hospital” I didn’t answer. Why would I? All I would be doing is blaming myself for what had happened and waiting for the bad news that I had already accepted. No I was not going to the hospital; rather I pushed off the poor excuse for a blanket, wiped away my tears, and without looking back, I walked towards home.
I was very close to home, and I stopped.
I couldn’t bear to walk through my door and tell my mum what I had just witnessed and what had happened.
I sat. I sat for a long while, going over and over what I could have done to stop what had happened. “If only he had given his phone, if only” I kept thinking, it was no use now, he was gone.
When I had finally plucked up the courage and energy to walk home, I did exactly that. Taking long fatigued strides tear drops falling with every step, I reached the foot of my driveway.
I walked to the door, knocked twice, mum opened and I fell. My legs would not carry me any longer, crying and wailing into the carpet I looked up to my mother’s sad face and she whispered ‘I know son, I know’.